perks of dating me
- i won’t ever call you mommy/daddy because that’s the creepiest fucking shit i have ever seen
- i’ll keep your weight down and your self-esteem high by eating all your food and looking like road kill
- you only have to date me for like a few more days because we are all going to die
(Source: brettstansel, via mycompromise)
5 months ago // 89,138 notes
